A couple of days ago, the hubby and I were talking about an acquaintance that we knew was getting divorced. There were several reasons as to why they were getting divorced, such as them living in different states and the major one is that he wanted children and she did not. My first thought was, why didn't they discuss this before they got married? Maybe they did and one of them changed their minds. There are certain things that I think that you should discuss before getting married. I kinda of look at them as contract negotiations. These negotiations allow the other person to know what to expect or how you feel on the issues that you discussed. This is not to say things can not change or new issues can not come up, but it allows you to have some discussion on the standard things such as children, where you are going to live or how you save your money. I know that sometimes divorce can not be avoided, but sometimes I think that if some of the simple things were discussed before the wedding it might not be necessary. Just my two cents. What are your thoughts?
Comments
We both come from divorced parents and know people who struggle with their partners, so for us, it was a realistic possibility to talk through things that were difficult in other marriages.
Thankfully, our family friends are honest about what trials/tribulations happen to a new family unit and how they would change things if they had another chance.
We are lucky that we have a group of married friends that we have been able to lean on or use a road map for what to do and not to in our marriage.
For the hubby and I we are communicators and we are comfortable with expressing ourselves no matter how vulnerable it makes both of us. It makes us better as individuals and as a couple.