Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Wedded Wednesday-- Before the Wedding

A couple of days ago, the hubby and I were talking about an acquaintance that we knew was getting divorced. There were several reasons as to why they were getting divorced, such as them living in different states and the major one is that he wanted children and she did not. My first thought was, why didn't they discuss this before they got married? Maybe they did and one of them changed their minds. There are certain things that I think that you should discuss before getting married. I kinda of look at them as contract negotiations. These negotiations allow the other person to know what to expect  or how you feel on the issues that you discussed. This is not to say things can not change or new issues can not come up, but it allows you to have some discussion on the standard things such as children, where you are going to live or how you save your money. I know that sometimes divorce can not be avoided, but sometimes I think that if some of the simple things were discussed before the wedding it might not be necessary. Just my two cents. What are your thoughts?


The Edberg's said...

I totally agree. I think most (younger) people going into marriage don't want to think of the things that can/will try the devotion to one another and would rather focus on the fluffy lovey dovey stuff.

We both come from divorced parents and know people who struggle with their partners, so for us, it was a realistic possibility to talk through things that were difficult in other marriages.

Thankfully, our family friends are honest about what trials/tribulations happen to a new family unit and how they would change things if they had another chance.

Faith said...

I 100% agree. I think this is one of the reason I think every couple should do pre-marital counseling before they get married. It is amazing what more you learn about your partner. If you haven't discussed the small things chances are the bigger things haven't been discussed either.

Dana said...

Even though my hubby and I lived together for a few years before we got married, we still did premarital counseling. We had our ups and downs in our relationship and had plenty of opportunities to work through things. I knew going into marriage that it was work. I came from a divorced home, and I knew that I did not want that for me.

We are lucky that we have a group of married friends that we have been able to lean on or use a road map for what to do and not to in our marriage.

For the hubby and I we are communicators and we are comfortable with expressing ourselves no matter how vulnerable it makes both of us. It makes us better as individuals and as a couple.