Thursday, April 26, 2012

Mommy MoJo: Do You Lose Yourself When You Have a Baby?

When The Chocolate Knot blogger posted the question, " Do You Lose Yourself When You Have A Baby?" on Twitter, I had to think about it. After much thought my response is YES. I noticed after I had my baby, people asked how the baby was doing and not how I was doing or they started calling me by my daughters name instead of my own. It made me feel like I did not exist or that Dana was no longer important. I am sure that is not what people meant, but that is how it made me feel. The real reason that you lose apart of yourself, is because you are giving yourself to your little one. My feeling is that you have to learn to find a balance in being mommy, wifey and just you. I am still learning this balance, which will become even more important once I return back to work. I think that this process becomes  a little easier if you already know who you are prior to having a baby.

The whole concept of losing yourself, maybe different for each new mommy. As with each day of learning how to care for a new baby, a new mommy needs to learn what her new "her" is. This process may take a few weeks to a few years, depending on the mommy. I think that we need to really not look at the loss of oneself, but the gaining of new one.

What do you think?


Tiffany said...

Thanks for the shout out! Unfortunately I don't have much of a comment since I'm not a mom yet, but I've heard that it's takes a lot of skill and balance to be a good mom while maintaining some sense of normalcy.

MrsTDJ said...

It's definitely a struggle for balance. Some days I do a decent job and other days not so much. My son is 3.5 and I'm just starting to get to a place where I feel like I am "me" again. For me, that means regular mani/pedi appts, a monthly dinner/movie night with the girls, etc. Good luck with making it work for you!

Mrs. Pancakes said...

Thanks for writing this... And reminding me that balance will
Come!! But what better place to lose yourself than your baby?!

Dana said...

Thanks Mrs TDJ it is good to hear about the balance coming to my life. I have been trying to get nails done and have time with girls. I also have been trying to have time with the hubby. I just do not want anyone feeling like they have to watch my baby. My mom assures me that she does not mind being with the little one while I get some me time.